To me, four kids isn’t a lot. To me, maybe 20 will seem like a lot. Or, maybe somewhere between four and 20 will strike me as a LOT. But I don’t think four is an exceptionally large family. Other people do.

You cannot imagine the number of times a week I get asked any of the following questions:

• “Are they all yours?” (yes)
• “Boy, you sure have your hands full, don’t you?”
• “How do you do it?!”
• “Are they twins?” (no)
• “Are you Catholic?” (no)
• “Irish twins, huh?”
• “What kind of vehicle do you drive that fits them all?”
•  ”How far apart are they?” (13 months, 20 months, 15 months)
• “You don’t work, do you?”
• “Are you done?”
• “You finally got your girl. You’re done right?”

I consider none of these questions totally unreasonable, though some of them aren’t exactly appropriate to ask a stranger (I think). I generally answer honestly, though.

I am, by no means, Wonder Woman. I do what every mom in America does. I take things as they come, one day at a time. Yes, we know we’re a bit unconventional in that we have chosen to have a large family rapidly. We know not everyone is as fertile as we are. We know we are blessed in that having children comes very easy for us. We do not forget that. We thank God daily for our little blessings.

Here are just a few things I’ve learned along the way… (This might begin to answer the “how do you do it?” question).

1. Pray for patience. Daily.
2. Try to be creative. Keep things hopping. Boredom = trouble.
3. Keep Mr. Clean Magic Erasers on hand. Always.
4. Buy diapers in bulk at Sam’s Club.  This is even cheaper than using coupons at discount stores.
5. Give the kids “chores” to do… Even if it’s squirting water on a window and wiping it off with a paper towel, they like to feel like they have a purpose in the family, too.
6. Commit yourself to leaving the house 15 minutes before you actually have to be out of the house. That way, if you’re a few minutes late, you really aren’t. If you’re on time, you’ll surprise everyone by being a bit early.
7. Have a logic for the way your babies are named. Inevitably, a stranger in the paper towel aisle will ask you their names and then wonder out loud how you came up with them.
8. Pray for each child regularly. And teach them to pray, too.
9. Never hush anyone when a baby is sleeping. We’ve found it much easier to have the babies adjust to sleeping with some noise.
10. Try as you might, sometimes a sarcastic answer will come out to some of the above questions. If it happens, explain: “I’m sorry, I haven’t had much sleep.” People will understand.

I don’t have all the answers. And sometimes I really freak out and get overwhelmed (usually when I have a major design project deadline looming). My husband is the King of the Level-headed and is the master of talking me down or lightening my burden. He even changes diapers. Now you know another reason why I married him. But that prayer thing does work wonders. I often find myself reciting either one of these verses:

I Corinthians 10:13 — There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. 

I Peter 5:7– Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

I often find myself casting cares while I’m washing dishes or folding laundry. After all, a mom with four kids, four and under, has got to multitask, doesn’t she?

Does anyone else out there have tips for large families? Please share.

This entry was posted on Saturday, July 21st, 2007 at 6:21 pm and is filed under Domestic Engineering, family. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.